Is There Really a “Wrong” Person in Marriage?
The phrase “married to the wrong person” echoes in countless hearts, sparking regret, confusion, and even despair. But what if it’s a misconception? Marriage isn’t about superficial matches like height, color, or tribe; it’s about fulfilling God’s purpose together. Drawing from Genesis, the “right” spouse is a suitable helper who aligns with your divine assignment, turning potential “prayer points” into powerful partnerships.
This blog explores the redefinition of the “wrong” person, why crises don’t mean mismatch, and actionable steps to build a purpose-driven marriage. With patience, prayer, and communication, no marriage is beyond redemption. Dive in to discover how to transform challenges into a glorious legacy.
The True Essence of Marriage: Purpose Over Perfection
Marriage is designed for dominion and purpose (Genesis 1:26-28). God created humans to rule and multiply, but fulfillment requires work; an assignment or vision. In Genesis 2:15, God gave Adam work in the Garden; then, seeing his need, provided Eve as a “suitable helper” (Genesis 2:18).
- Suitable Means Fit for Purpose: A spouse isn’t just a companion; they’re tailored to help fulfill your divine mission. If your partner supports your vision, they’re the right one. Superficial traits like size, color, or tribe are irrelevant.
- No “One Perfect Match” Myth: There’s no single predestined spouse. God provides a godly partner for a godly person. The “wrong” label often arises from mismatched aspirations, not fate.
Signs You Might Feel Married to the “Wrong” Person, And Why It’s Often Wrong
Many label spouses “wrong” amid crises. Crises stem from marital illiteracy, not incompatibility.
- Common Misconceptions: People choose based on lust, culture, or appearance, then regret when visions clash. Example: Rejecting a “short” man for a “tall” one, missing the one who aligns with your purpose.
- Biblical Counterexample – Jezebel: Even a “wicked” wife like Jezebel was “right” for Ahab, they fulfilled evil schemes together. The point? Alignment in purpose defines “right,” not morality alone (though godliness is key).
- Real Indicators of Mismatch:
- Partner rejects your vision or assignment.
- They pursue conflicting goals without compromise.
- No willingness to build capacity to support you.
If married, don’t despair. It’s rarely irreversible. With knowledge, wisdom, and understanding (Proverbs 24:3-4), crises resolve.
What to Do If You Think You’ve Married the Wrong Person
Divorce isn’t the answer; transformation is.
- Pray as Your Priority: Make your spouse a prayer point. Pray for conviction and alignment. God turns hearts (Proverbs 21:1). Patience pays. Delays in unity build strength.
- Communicate Vision Intentionally: Men: Share your assignment clearly and repeatedly. Update as God reveals more. Women: Listen, adapt, and build capacity (e.g., training or retreats).
- Build Capacity Together: Die to self (Amos 3:3). Submit (wives) and love sacrificially (husbands, Ephesians 5:25). Acquire skills to support each other. The Nzometias took 10 years to fully align and launch HSOM.
- Reject Carnal Choices: Singles: Choose by vision, not sight. Avoid impatience leading to settling (Isaiah 4:1). Married: Believe in your spouse. God can convict and change.
- Overcome Crises with Literacy: Problems arise from ignorance. Gain marital knowledge to fill your home with “precious and pleasant riches” (Proverbs 24:4). Peace enables purpose.
Biblical Foundation: Marriage as Covenant for Purpose
Genesis shows marriage as a covenant, not contract, irrevocable, purpose-bound. Mary and Joseph: Mary received the vision; Joseph protected it after angelic confirmation. Submission and love ensure victory. Proverbs 15:22: Plans fail without counsel; communicate!
Regret leads to accusation, stalling progress. Instead, persuade gently; “a soft tongue breaks a bone” (Proverbs 25:15).
Conclusion
Marrying the “wrong” person is often a myth born of mismatched visions or illiteracy. Align with purpose, pray persistently, and build capacity. Your union can become a testimony. It’s never too late, like Abraham starting at 75. Believe in your spouse; God turns tides.
Ready to realign your marriage? Share your thoughts in the comments. Watch the full video: What to do if you are MARRIED to the WRONG PERSON. Subscribe to HSOM’s channel, like, and share for more life-changing content.