Finding a Wife – More Than Just a Proverb
Proverbs 18:22 declares, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” This verse is a wedding staple, often recited with joy and hope. But what happens when the honeymoon fades and reality sets in? It’s not just about finding any partner; it’s about being the right kind of person and becoming the ideal spouse. Drawing from biblical wisdom, we challenge men to be “good men” who value women as God does, and women to evolve from “girls” or “women” into true “wives” who attract divine favor.
This blog explores the profound layers of this proverb, why some marriages miss the promised favor, and how you can align your relationship with God’s design. Whether you’re single, engaged, or married, these insights will inspire you to build a marriage that not only survives but thrives with God’s blessings.
The Proverb Explained: Not for Every Man or Woman
Let’s start by questioning why this verse, often quoted at weddings, doesn’t always play out in reality. Some couples recite it joyfully, only to face marital breakdown. The key? Context. Proverbs 18:22 isn’t a blanket promise; it’s tied to character.
- The “He” Is a Good Man: Cross-referencing Proverbs 12:2 (“A good man obtains favor from the Lord, but a man of wicked intentions He will condemn”) and Matthew 12:35 (“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things”), the “he” is a good man. Not every man who marries will find favor; only those with pure intentions.
- Qualities of a Good Man: A good man values women as God does. He treats his wife as the “weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7), treasuring, nourishing, and loving her as his own body (Ephesians 5:25-28). He rejects entitlement mentalities that lead to mistreatment. If your intentions are wicked, you’ll scramble for favor, no matter how good your wife is.
- From Wicked to Good: If you’ve been mistreating your spouse due to upbringing or ignorance, change is possible. Leave behind old habits. Don’t import your parents’ or others’ marital flaws. Become the man who brings forth good things and obtains satisfaction from above (Proverbs 14:14).
What Is a “Wife”? Beyond Girl or Woman
God is specific: It’s a “wife,” not just a girl or woman. Many enter marriage unprepared, leading to struggles.
- The Girl: Dependent and immature, a “girl” in marriage lets external voices (parents, circumstances) dictate her actions. She’s swayed by everything around her, stronger than God’s or her husband’s guidance. This dependency blocks favor.
- The Woman: Responsible but self-centered, a “woman” focuses on herself, achievements, needs, everything revolving around her. Selfishness erodes the marriage, turning potential favor into struggle.
- The Wife: Selfless, loving, forgiving, with a large heart. She accommodates others, including in-laws and children. She is a “wife material”, one who attracts favor. Characteristics include:
- Selflessness: Puts the marriage and family first.
- Forgiveness: Doesn’t hold grudges or dwell on hurts.
- Accommodation: Welcomes people, handles challenges with grace.
If you’re married to a good man but acting like a girl or woman, you hinder the favor. But hope abounds: “You become” a wife. Transform through intentional growth.
Becoming Wife Material
Both men and women can evolve.
- For Women: If impatience led you to a man with wicked intentions, pray for his heart change. Focus on becoming selfless: Forgive easily, expand your heart to receive others, prioritize the marriage over personal agendas.
- For Men: Value your wife as your queen and baby. Nourish her without hatred. It’s self-sabotage. Seek God’s help to shift from wicked intentions to good treasures.
When a good man finds a true wife, favor flows. Their marriage becomes a testimony, not a statistic.
Biblical Foundation
Scripture supports this: Proverbs 18:22 promises favor to the good man who finds a wife. Ephesians 5:25-28 commands husbands to love wives as Christ loves the church. 1 Peter 3:7 urges honoring wives for answered prayers. Matthew 12:35 shows that good hearts produce good fruit; favor included.
Do not nurture wicked intentions (Proverbs 12:2). Instead, be satisfied from above (Proverbs 14:14). Transformation aligns you with God’s blessings.
Conclusion
Proverbs 18:22 isn’t just a wedding quote; it’s a blueprint for favor-filled marriage. By becoming a good man who treasures his wife or a selfless wife material, you unlock God’s blessings. Dr. / Dr. Mrs. Crysantus and Linda Nzometia encourage reflection: Are you the “he” or “wife” described? Change today for a glorious union.
What steps will you take to become a better spouse? Share in the comments. Watch the full video: He Who Finds a Wife. Subscribe to HSOM’s channel, like, and share for more transformative content.